My First Time with Anal Sex: A Rollercoaster of Curiosity, Fear and Intense Pleasure

“Will it hurt?” That question kept running through my head for weeks. My name is Lisa, and in this personal story I take you along on my journey from the very first thought, through my fears and preparations, to the moments after. I share openly about my worries, the conversations with my partner and of course how it actually felt. Spoiler: it was more intense, surprising and satisfying than I ever imagined.

Maybe you will recognise yourself in some of my thoughts and find a few answers that make it easier for you to approach anal sex.

Curiosity and doubt go hand in hand

I was curious, yet at the same time full of doubts. My head was crowded with questions: Will it hurt? Is it unhygienic? Can I even enjoy it? Watching porn did not help, it only made me feel more insecure. I kept imagining how it might feel and which painful or embarrassing moments could happen. Still, curiosity kept winning.

Each time I thought about it, I felt a tingle in my stomach, a mix of nerves and anticipation. The more I considered it, the clearer it became that I did not want to miss out on this experience. I wanted to find out how it feels, discover what I enjoy and learn how to make it comfortable for me.

Preparation is everything

Before putting my plans into action I did a lot of reading: articles, forums, personal stories. I wanted to know about hygiene, which lube works best and how to approach everything step by step. Gaining that knowledge already calmed many of my fears. Now I want to share the most important insights with you.

Many people believe anal sex must hurt and therefore avoid even trying. The truth is that the anal area is sensitive but also very stretchable. With the right preparation, pain-free anal sex is absolutely possible, even for beginners.

There are three common mistakes people make when trying anal sex for the first time: neglecting hygiene, using too little lube and skipping the stretching. Stretching in particular is key to making the first experience pleasant.

Hygiene

Before the fun part begins, hygiene comes first. A regular trip to the toilet is often not enough. This is where a simple anal douche can help. Fill it with lukewarm water, gently insert it, release the water and repeat if needed. Afterwards you will feel clean, relaxed and ready for the next step.

Lube

The second must-have for anal sex is lube, and lots of it. The anus does not provide natural lubrication, which makes a quality lube essential. I quickly learned to forget the myth that “spit is enough.” My tip: choose a high-quality, long-lasting lube that is condom safe. Water based options like pjur BACK DOOR! Moisturising or pjur TOY GLIDE are great for toys. If you prefer silicone based, pjur BACK DOOR Relaxing is a strong choice. It is especially long-lasting, contains jojoba, and makes anal sex more comfortable.

Stretching

Last but not least is stretching. The anus is naturally closed and the sphincter wants to do its job. Going too fast or too rough easily leads to pain. Stretching helps your body get used to penetration, whether with fingers, small plugs or toys. Take your time, create a calm and relaxed setting, and always use plenty of lube. Start with gentle massage, tune into your body and progress slowly. Add one finger at a time or move from smaller to larger plugs, always keeping things well lubricated and relaxed. There should never be pain.

Plug sets with different sizes are very useful to prepare step by step. You can also try the pjur BACK DOOR spray or serum to help relax the anus.

With these three steps you are perfectly prepared for a safe, relaxed and enjoyable first anal sex experience.

Communication is the key

Talking about anal sex was almost harder than doing it. I did not want my partner to think I was only doing it for him. But once I found the courage, we spoke openly about wishes, fears and boundaries. To my surprise he was relieved because he had thought about it too. That conversation took away the pressure and made us feel closer than before.

Afterwards the fear simply disappeared. The first minutes of the act were a little awkward, but that was perfectly fine. The stretching had worked, and I was able to relax. Every touch and every movement felt intense. I could feel how trust and arousal blended and how all worries vanished. The moments afterwards were magical. If you are curious, I can only recommend: go for it.

Conclusion: Your experience matters

Whether it remains a one-time adventure or becomes part of your sexual life is completely up to you. Take time for every step, be patient with yourself and avoid putting pressure on yourself. Everything can happen at your own pace. Choose a calm and comfortable setting, listen to your body and respect your boundaries. What matters most is that you feel and allow yourself to open up to intimacy. For me, it became one of the most intense and beautiful sexual experiences of my life.